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kellystegmann

Who's in Your Circle?




I read tarot at a party recently and I left feeling fantastic about myself and the women I met. We often become so engrossed in our lives, supporting others, that we neglect to consider how our friends make us feel. How do you feel about your interactions with your friend group? When you are with the? Or even when you’re not with them? Do you feel supported or judged? Inadequate? Jealous? Do you feel too fat or too thin? Do you feel like you are inadequate or don’t make enough money or aren’t smart enough? Are you hiding aspects of yourself or your family that you'd typically share with friends?


If any of this rings true, it may be time for a friendship audit. Friends aren’t supposed to make you feel badly about yourself or your decisions and choices. They are supposed to support us. But so many of us don’t feel supported by our friends at all. I struggle to comprehend why we choose to spend our leisure time with those who don't uplift us and make us feel good inside. That tarot party left me feeling good, and even now, I smile at the memory of those welcoming, supportive women.


If your friend group doesn't elicit similar feelings—whether it's one person or a hundred—it's time to make some adjustments. Especially if you don’t feel good 100% of the time when you are with them. And even when you aren’t with them. You don't need to sever ties entirely; rather, gradually reduce contact. Swap weekly gatherings for biweekly coffee catch-ups and evaluate how you feel at that point. 


People enter and exit our lives for various reasons; letting go is part of growth and transformation. Ultimately, it's about living your best life and doing what’s best for YOU. Why surround yourself with individuals who hinder that?


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